Every soldier/sailor/marine/airman sees how bad people get. When those one in one hundred types arrive, there’s usually one hundred people for them to show their true colors. With that said I’m totally one of them, I just keep my mischief on the down low. Sinners; we all are.

The most sexual woman of the unit was interesting. I’ve only got one verifiable story but I know there’s plenty more of course. A pretty enough lass, she was definitely in the double digits of uniformed males successfully “captured” by her dirty ways.

I was on my bed, dug down with the intent of sleeping early (BORING), dealing with my own sexual predator, when our door swings open. I hear his screams before he enters the room.

“They kicked me out of my fucking room!”

“They’re fucking on my bed right now!”

“You don’t know that,” dared the private…

“I can FUCKING hear them from here!!”

Eh, these things happen from time to time. Apparently, a fellow soldier across the hallways had booted out his roommate to get laid, using his bed in the process. Sounds like a pretty petty thing to get angry over but I’m over here trying to push the leech off…so what does my opinion matter? Either way, now this guy was standing in my stoop loudly voicing his opinion, leaving me still thinking about the early wake up and APFT.

I decided to be a bigger man and just stay shut the fuck up, I told the little fly to buzz off-to which she loudly did-and laid down in peace…finally. The situation cleared up after about thirty minutes or so. I bet he slept in that bed too, knowing the two involved. Ya got pimped dude, bullying happens in the military too.

Besides the sexual activity of that night, down the hallway a bit were the heaviest partiers. This one in particular, was quite the rowdy one.

The story is blurry and in pieces to me as I was away on my bed;

 

Drinking through the night/sudden need to urinate (DUH)/inability to use hotel bathroom (party like a rockstar)??/use of roommate’s duffle bag instead…

 

Hehe. So terrible but always a good laugh. Come to find out, I knew the bag’s owner. Urine everywhere. When she prepared for first formation in the morning, she found all her socks wet. She asked the perpetrator (unbeknownst to her) to borrow a pair of socks and her answer was the best possible:

Fuck no.

Fuck no folks. The military makes us all cold hearted but I get it. I don’t really like sharing my shit either.

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